Posts Tagged quest

I DO Have a Passion!

No, I didn’t wake up to discover that I have a passion for knitting. Actually, I tried knitting…when I was 8. But I certainly don’t love it.

In fact, my first (and only) knitting project was a total failure. I started an aqua colored scarf. Each twist of the needle was a slow process made so much more painful when observing my babysitter effortlessly knit row after row with speed and ease. Amazingly, she never even looked at her hands!

I felt some measure of accomplishment once I had a foot of my scarf done. I had earned that length with hard labor! I thought my scarf in progress was safe in the family room closest, but I was mistaken. Later, I found my scarf unraveled into a tangle of yarn with nary a stitch in sight. And so ended my foray into knitting.

Knitting by the Fire

Mr. HalfFull’s sister shows off her knitting project!

I was once again reminded of knitting during our Christmas travel. My 9-year-old niece was teaching my sister-in-law to knit. She was toiling away on her flat scarf, while my niece had moved onto a more complex pattern of knitting in a circle. I guess knitting is reserved for Mr. HalfFull’s side of the family.

Wow, that was a long tangent! But this post isn’t about knitting. It’s about passion. And as we’ve established, knitting is not my passion. Oh, if only it were that easy.

But apparently, I DO have a passion. I know that many of you have been following me on my Quest for Passion around the world. I was as disappointed as you not to find a path of certainly. All I found was a lifelong quest!

So perhaps you are wondering what this newfound passion could be.  Even I am a bit incredulous typing those words, so let me explain.

I had lunch with a friend who suggested that my passion is seeking out my passion. At first, I stared back with a quizzical look as if to say, “How can THAT be a passion?” He pointed out that it’s the thing I think, write, and read about most. It’s the thing that I willingly explore and am excited to uncover. Isn’t that the definition of a passion?

It’s a new way of framing the idea. Apparently, my passion can’t be a single, simple, easy to understand thing like knitting. My passion is a quest; it’s the journey itself.

This passion led me to quit my job, and enter a place of insecurity and uncertainty. It’s not a comfortable place, but something drove me to it. My passion, perhaps?

I am excited and apprehensive about the exploration ahead. I love reading articles about career happiness. I love stories of how others successfully changed paths. And I have the same hopes for myself.

Spin Class

Ms. HalfEmpty sweats as she contemplates the deep lyrics of “Rhythm is a Dancer.”

As I was spinning away on my bike in RPM™ class, the song “Rhythm is a Dancer” was playing through the speakers with this persistent refrain:  “Oooohhhh it’s a passion.” And it got me to thinking about my passion. Perhaps I should take a cue from the song and…

Let it control you hold you mold you

Not the old, the new, touch it, taste it

Free your soul let it invade you

Gotta to be what you wanna

Can one really be passionate about finding a passion?

  • Have you tried knitting? Was your attempt successful?
  • Has a friend helped you frame something differently?
  • Is this passion just semantics or helpful?
Ms. HalfEmpty is a 30-something introverted realist, perhaps a pessimist. But she’s trying to see the world half full on halfempty4now.com, which she started in February 2011. Her worldview may not be all bad, as it probably helps keep her husband, Mr. HalfFull, grounded and out of trouble!

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End of the Journey

Last year, Mr. HalfFull and I embarked on our 30/40 World Tour:  Quest for Passion.  But it all came to an end 10 weeks later, and we returned to the real world of jobs and schedules.

Sailing in Fiji

Our sailing adventure in Fiji was nothing like that of Robin Lee Graham. I prefer to take airplanes between countries.

A few months ago, I read Dove, the true story of a 16-year-old boy who sailed around the world.  My trip was nothing like the solitude he experienced on his sailboat, but the wanderlust and thrill of adventure on land are similar.  During his journey, he met his wife, Patti.  This passage about her really struck me; it reminded me of my writing here and thoughts as my journey was coming to an end:

There are gaps in Patti’s diary, which was written to remind her of days that meant much to her.  She knew as I knew that we had got too close to heaven too early, that our time in the islands must come to an end; that we would soon have to return to the real world again.

One day I noticed that she had stopped typing.  She had put the typewriter back in the locker where she had found it.  I asked her why, and she smiled and said, “I don’t want to write the last chapter.”

Robin Lee Graham

Well this is the last chapter and it’s been written, like it or not.  As they say, all good things must come to an end.  But the memories will last a lifetime.  Perhaps those memories will continue to inspire me, and help me on future quests.

Recently, I was telling a friend about my Quest for Passion.  He stared at me incredulously and asked why I had to travel to find my passion.  I explained that travel wasn’t required, but it’s a good way to get out of normal routines and change thought patterns.  If you are in the same place, with the same schedule, interacting with the same people, you are less open to new possibilities.  But when you throw yourself into new environments, you are forced to make it work and challenge yourself in different ways.

Mauritius

Mr. HalfFull practicing mental relaxation and flexibility. But he doesn’t need as much practice as much as Ms. HalfEmpty!

This is part of the reason why vacations are so important.  They help to free your mind from chores at home, and give you the opportunity for mental relaxation and flexibility.  Stay-cations can be useful to accomplish projects at home, but they don’t have the same freeing power as getting away and changing your environment.

We are generally creatures of habit.  Many of us say we like change, but change can be hard.  Perhaps we like the idea of change, but the work to get there isn’t always enjoyable.

I think the Quest for Passion is lifelong for many of us who are not innately drawn to something.  My trip is over, but I think my quest will continue.  Patience is not one of my virtues, so I need to learn to appreciate the journey and live my way into my answers.

…have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language.  Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them.  And the point is, to live everything.  Live the questions now.  Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer…

Rainer Maria Rilke

I hope you stick around to find out what life is like after the 30/40 World Tour.  Or perhaps you have found my passion, the key to the locked room, or can translate the very foreign language for me.  If so, let me know in the comments.  Living my way into the answer seems like it could be very frustrating!

  • When your trip nears the end, do you worry about writing the last chapter?
  • Has travel helped you think in different ways?
  • Are you a creature of habit or spontaneity?
  • Have you found your passion?  Was it a struggle or did it come naturally?
  • Are you patient?
Ms. HalfEmpty is a 30-something introverted realist, perhaps a pessimist. But she’s trying to see the world half full on halfempty4now.com, which she started in February 2011. Her worldview may not be all bad, as it probably helps keep her husband, Mr. HalfFull, grounded and out of trouble!

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Happening Upon My Namesake

Four Posts panorama

After our one day layover in Madrid, it was time to take a 3 hour bus trip west to VaughanTown. You won’t find VaughanTown on a map because it’s not actually a town.  In fact, it’s in 5 different towns.  Our VaughanTown was outside the village of El Barco de Ávila.

VaughanTown is an English immersion program for Spaniards.  As native English speakers, our job was to help the Spaniards gain confidence in their ability to communicate in English by exposing them to a wealth of speech and accents (including American, British, Indian, and Australian in our group).  The Spaniards pay for the program individually or through their companies, and the Anglos, like us, are volunteers who are compensated with free meals and a free stay at a 4-star luxury hotel.

Bus to VaughanTown

Anglos and Spaniards on the chartered bus to VaughanTown. Some are getting their last few moments of sleep, and others are already chatting away.

Before we could start our little English haven in the middle of Spain, we had to get out of the city and away from all the Spanish speakers.  Most of the participants took the chartered bus from Madrid with us to the middle of nowhere.  But along the way, we made one stop outside the town of my namesake.

Before our 30/40 World Tour, I didn’t even know why my parents picked my name.  But when my mom heard that we would be in Ávila, she shared this with me:

Ending the 30/40 World Tour in Spain is more than just a wonderful place to visit before heading home, but it is also a symbol of being on the edge between the east and the west.  The Greeks called Italy Hesperia or “land of the setting sun” and referred to Spain, still further west, as Hesperia ultima.

Spain is the place from where Columbus changed the understanding of where the world does not end, going from the known world to discover the new world. It is a place where Miguel de Cervantes created a fascinating hero with Don Quixote, the dreamer chasing the windmills. It is a place where you can hear amazing guitar tunes (La Tuna, Segovia, Sarasate, and Albeniz) and see flamenco dancing. While each region in Spain is unique in food, scenery and history, all Spaniards share a love for living life to its fullest with time for siesta and time for workkeeping soul and body well balanced.

highway exit to Ávila

The bus made one stop outside Ávila on the way to Gredos

More amazing, is that the last landing of the heroine’s journeyis not only in Spain but also in Ávila, the city of the famous Teresa of Ávila. While it is a coincidence and not a pre-meditated plan of Ms. HalfEmpty and Mr. HalfFull, it is a potential revelation for the couple, but especially for Ms. Half Empty.

In fact, there is a strong resemblance between our heroine and the famous saint of Spain who was constantly in search of perfection, while at the same time she challenged many of the existing social norms for women in the 16th Century. One of her most famous books, The Way of Perfection, describes her experiences in prayer which ultimately culminates in rapture.

St. Teresa of Ávila painting

1827 painting of St. Teresa of Ávila by François Gérard

The secret as Teresa explained in prayer is that it does not matter as much to think as to love.  Loving in the first place is allowing oneself to be loved. “Anyone who wishes to give love must also receive love as a gift…”  Hopefully, our heroine will discover this on her quest.  It is not about righteousness in perfection, but about letting go to find oneself.

St. Teresa was a trailblazer, a reformer, a Doctor of the Church, and a very smart woman. She was a fascinating señora like our heroine. She liked adventure at an early age; she even ran away from home at age seven with her brother Rodrigo to find martyrdom among the Moors. She was beautiful and atypical of women of her time by making the most of her intellect and challenging the men of her time. She had a mind of her own, which she manifested as a mystic, writer, teacher of meditation, and founder of the Carmelites. Her work became classic text in Christian spirituality, mysticism, and Spanish Renaissance literature.

Four Posts

Ms. HalfEmpty at the Four Posts, which overlooks the walled city of Ávila in the background.  This shrine marks the place where St. Teresa’s uncle stopped her from running off with her brother to seek martyrdom in battle with the Moors.

Our heroine’s last landing is truly fitting before crossing the Atlantic Ocean and coming home to hit the road running and engage in a life of love.

Hotel Izán Puerta de Gredos

Our four-star accommodation during VaughanTown — Hotel Izán Puerta de Gredos.  Our room was on the top floor with one of those windows peeking out of the roof.

Woah, no pressure Mom!  Those are some big expectations.  But I do still love Mr. HalfFull (even after spending 24 hours a day with him for 10 weeks), so maybe that’s a good start on the life of love.

At the end of our bus journey, we reached Hotel Izán Puerta de Gredos, which sits on 15 acres of land in view of the Gredos mountain range.  The location was beautiful and secluded — a 30-minute walk from town.  This would be our home for the next 5 days, during which we would spend 16 hours a day speaking English to Spaniards.

  • Who is your namesake?
  • Have you found a life of love?
  • Have you ever participated in a program like VaughanTown?
Ms. HalfEmpty is a 30-something introverted realist, perhaps a pessimist. But she’s trying to see the world half full on halfempty4now.com, which she started in February 2011. Her worldview may not be all bad, as it probably helps keep her husband, Mr. HalfFull, grounded and out of trouble!

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